I remember growing up and hearing all the time, “Babygirl be careful who you trust?” I think as I grew older I stopped listening to that saying and started trusting everyone that entered into my world. Until I was hurt so bad that I was broken. Have you ever been to that place of Brokenness and you don’t know who you can trust? That was me about 2 years ago just going through life angry at God, the world, myself, and people. People who had been in my life for years no longer had the trust that I gave so freely. I would look at people and think, “I can only trust you as long as I see you.” When you have trust issues it’s hard for you to love or live at your full capacity. I was wondering why my life was spiraling out of control and why I had lost my job, home, car, and loved ones (that’s a whole different blog).
One day I had an Epiphany I was sitting on the couch and I heard, “Heather you have to forgive all who have hurt you, and forgive yourself.” Now that is so much easier said than done. Think about it I had to forgive the people who hurt me deep down to the core of my soul, but I had to forgive myself for allowing myself to be hurt and be vulnerable. Speaking of Vulnerability that takes some maturity to be Vulnerable and know that you have a chance of being hurt. Anyway I had to look at people who hurt me all the time and learn how to live with the fact that they may never apologize for what happened, but realize that it was okay. They say that forgiveness is not for the other person, but for you. Hard pill to swallow right? But it’s TRUE!!! Hurt people hurt other people and are miserable. I was wondering why I was attracting miserable people, but I didn’t realize that I was a reflection of them. Remember you Attract your Reflection. So once I swallowed the pill of forgiveness and actually started forgiving and Living my Life changed.
Every chance I get I brag about the person who has made the most impact on my life and that is my Pastor Johnasen L. Pack. I met Pastor Pack when I was at my lowest of low, but I slowly crawled out of my shell. He was the person that honestly reached down and pulled me out of the pit that I was in. God used him in a major way to help me. BUT!!!!! He would never had been able to help me if I didn’t trust him nor believe in myself. Of course I was leery of trusting him in the beginning because he looked like those who had hurt me prior, but I let him help me anyway. Again it takes MATURITY to Trust someone who looks like what has hurt you in the past. Even though they are not that person but they may carry some of the characteristics that those others carried. You can’t look at the outer just focus on the heart of a person God will show you if they’re pure or not you just have to have your eyes open to see it.
So is trusting easy? No, but you have to know who to trust and who not to. I just don’t freely trust anymore you have to earn it, but praying about it helps. I also look at who you are connected to and the fruits that you bear. People will show you what they want you to see majority of the time, but you have to ask for X-ray vision to see past people’s bull most of the time. Trust and believe God gives that FREELY. So how do you move past Trust Issues?
1. Forgive (yourself and others)
2. Be Vulnerable (you’re going to be hurt you just have to push through it.)
3. Live (Understand that everyone’s journey is different just live your life and be happy.)
4. Love (No matter what has happened Love even when it hurts. Remember God loves us even when we hurt Him.)
5. Be Free (Don’t worry about others walk in your liberty)
So be free to trust again it’s ok to trust with limits trust is earned not given freely. Everyone is not worthy of your trust! I hope that my transparency helps someone walk in their Truth and Freedom.
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