I am sitting here at my desk trying to work, but I continue to think about the video that I posted earlier where I was talking about how we as women make men better because of us supporting them and pushing them to their greatness, but what about us? Who’s there to push us? Better yet who’s there to hold our crown when we get tired? All of this stemmed from me watching King S.O.I. Duka’s video this morning on FB where he spoke about the right woman being in a man’s life.
We as Black women we have been so strong for ourselves and others for so long. I honestly think Black women are born with a huge amount of strength and some magic. We turn nothing into something all the time. Even before slavery we were running countries and being Queens. During slavery we had to be strong when ripped away from our families and husbands. We know how to start over and be great every time. There is no mission that is too great for the Black Woman. Woman wear so many hats and have to be strong for so many reasons.
As a wife I was expected to go to work, cook, clean, do ministry, be a wife, do wifely duties and take care of our niece. That is a lot and still not break. Being a wife and a mother are two of the hardest jobs a woman can ever have. Why? Well because you have to be selfless. It’s not about you anymore it’s all about everyone else and you become last. Think about it, your children are going to want all of your attention until they get a certain age and then they just become someone else. (Literally) Then after being mommy you have to be wife. Actually you have to be wife the entire time that you are being mommy as well. Your husband if he doesn’t cook is going to want you to cook and be there for him when he gets home. Oh and let’s not talk about the men who are needy. Yikes!! That is an entire different blog. There are men out there who will not do anything but go to work come home and demand all of your attention even if you have kids. (Selfish) I remember feeling like I was dying slowly when I was with my husband. It wasn’t his fault it was just I knew that there was a greater purpose for my life and after my father died I couldn’t take it anymore. I had to leave the relationship and make something of my life. Let me stop right here and talk about that last sentence. One thing that I will say is that women aren’t made the way they once were. Heather what do you mean? Honestly I think we have become to independent. If our husbands cheat we don’t know how to stick by them anymore. Back in the day men had other families while their wife was at home with their kids. But the wife knew about the other family and still stayed. See now that’s strength because I know that I couldn’t have handled it. The thing is that we weren’t taught to be wives and how to hold down your family they were. I personally was taught get your education, money and a good career so that you can take care of yourself. Don’t depend on no man to do it for you. Now look at me divorced and taking care of myself and alone. Lol! Don’t get me wrong being single right now is the best thing for me because I am growing a business and a brand and my attention can’t go to a relationship like that because of the type of woman that I am.
Speaking of being an entrepreneur let’s talk about that first a moment of silence right here. I thank God everyday that I am not married with children right now. Listen trying to be a successful entrepreneur is hard work. It is not a cake walk out here when you are trying to get to the place where you are wanting to go. I honestly take my off to the women who have kids and are single doing this. I get overwhelmed once a month and it’s just me by myself. So how you do it I commend you for it. I want it all the husband, kids, and career, but right now I don’t think that I am ready for it all. I already know that once I have children and a husband again all of my attention will go to them. See we are back to that again, you become selfless. Now being an entrepreneur has been a journey for me. There have been days that I really did want to give up, but the strength in me wouldn’t let me. I understand that what I do isn’t for me. I know that there are people who need what I have on the inside of me so I continue to do what I do. I work hard for myself because I love me one, and two it’s not about me. That is why I continue to do what I do. Still there are times that I need that support too. Who can hold my crown?
We are so strong maaannn!! Yes I know God is the author and finisher of our faith, but he created the woman to be a helpmate because he knew that he put something special in us that would help our men get to their full potential. So do we need someone to be there to be strong for us and make us better? No, but it would be nice to have someone there to hold our crowns when we need it. Being a Queen gets hard and we need the support of our Kings sometimes. There are days that I want to give up and need that extra push or support of someone to help me. I have a wonderful circle of people around me that keep me going, but it’s not like the intimacy of a companion. I was speaking with a friend of mine about this as well and we both agreed we are strong, but companionship would help sometimes in those breaking moments or when you are alone. Now i know that someone is going to say, but depend on Jesus in those alone moments. I hear you I do, but God is not going to come down and rock me in his arms and literally touch me and tell me that it will be ok. He does give us strength to stay in the fight though, but still is nothing like having someone there. Companionship is not about being in a relationship or having sex. It’s about 2 people getting together and having a mutual understanding and support while still having the same common goal. That’s what it means to me at least. So since I don’t have that I am still wondering who can hold my crown? I will say this it is going to have to be a special kind of man because I am a very strong woman!
I hope you enjoyed reading this and it helped you in some kind of way. Leave your comments and let me know what you thought about it. Thanks for reading!!