But that is neither here or there.
After continued debate in my mind, and my inability to get past the fact that he is the milk chocolate version of my celebrity crush (*cues Kofi Siriboe to walk in) I shot my shot
Yassss hunti! You see why I could not pass him up.
So, I started to brainstorm the best way to approach him while mitigating my initial doubts. Through that personal brainstorming session in my head, I came to a few conclusions.
1. If I am going to achieve anything in life, I have to be firm in my value and not allow anything to create doubt in that value. If I am the woman I say I am, any man would jump at the oppportunity to hold my interest and I shouldn’t be afraid, much less think my value is dependent upon a male’s acknowledgment.
I have spent most of 2017 working past insecurities that I acknowledge have held me back from living my best Black Girl Magic life. Despite what others may perceive, I have spent the past 6 years blocking my own blessings in my personal life because I was carrying around my past like a Prada bag.
Proud that I overcame and was better for it, but ignorantly unaware I was carrying around the very thing that I was trying to get rid of.
2. The worst thing that could happen is that he says “I am not interested” in which I prepared a host of scenarios in my head to help me cope with the rejection (i.e. he must be gay, he must be in a relationship, or my personal favorite, he must only like white girls..lol).
3. I will not achieve the things I desire unless I change how I go about it. If I had intentions of actually getting what I wanted, who better than me to go get it. At 26 years of age, I have realized how easy it is to compartmentalize your mindset keeping you from living your best life. Who I am in my career is a complete 180 from who I am in my relationships. So I had to start applying how I chase my paper to how I get the man I want.
Now I realize this isn’t going to be the same outcome for everyone, BUT I would be a liar if I said it wasn’t worth stepping out of my comfort zone and into a better version of me.
Not only did I get to go out with a guy who was fun, interesting, and something nice to look at, I pushed one-step further towards leaving my insecurities at the door.
I encourage everyone, ladies or men to go for what you want. The rejection you may face is nothing compared to what you have to gain if you take a chance on yourself.
So take a deep breath, play your hype song, and go get it. What is meant for you, will always be meant for you.
25 N’ Learning