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Hello Out There!

After making a few observations as a Dating Millennial Single, I realized that there are levels to dating and it is important to know what level you’re on to prevent confusion and broken hearts.

The main failure I’ve noticed that single people make while dating is rushing.

You “kick it tough” with someone for like 2 weeks and think you’re in a relationship or ready to pursue a relationship with the person. Sometimes it’s one sided and the other person is like “chill, I don’t even know you like that.” Meanwhile, you’re cutting everybody else off and putting your all into it, then look crazy once the other person is like “I didn’t tell you to do that.” *turn off*

It’s natural to grow more and more attracted to someone the more you see them. It’s legit a thing. Partly because the more you get to know about a person, those characteristics begin to make the person more attractive. (Google It)

Fast forward to the purpose of this post, to teach you the 3 LEVELS OF COURTSHIP.

  1. Casual Dating
  2. Exclusive Dating
  3. Full-blown Relationship

When you first meet someone, exchange numbers etc. You are entering the Casual Dating level, which consists of “The Friend Zone” in a way. You are interested in each other, yet you are dating/talking/entertaining other people. This level is a realistic situation/expectation whether you’ve been out the game and at the time you’re only talking to this person but open to talking to other people or you have a date to go on every weekend. You’re single, live life! How do you know what you want if you haven’t played the field a bit? Of course, the ULTIMATE goal is to get in a relationship, but this is only the beginning.

If you both have chosen each other to pursue even after having all these “other” factors, then you will enter the level of Exclusive Dating”. This is like a trial period, where you’re able to test the waters with each other to see if, without all the distractions of dating other people, you are still interested in each other. I would suggest this comes AT LEAST after 2 months of casual dating because you are able to have a good grasp of someone’s personality by then. I mean come on, you get a 90 day probationary period for most jobs. Situations and life could happen in this time frame and you’re able to witness certain things like how this person handles conflict, how they communicate, and if they have mood swings. You also get to see if you’re even ready for a relationship or if you would rather date multiple people or be by yourself and focused on you.

Once you both agree that you could see yourself in a more serious situation with this person despite their flaws, Congratulations you’re “Full Blown Dating”!

What’s the difference between Exclusive Dating and Full Blown Dating?

In a relationship, you now have made a conscious decision to be with that person. At this point, you had time to think and weigh your options, whereas in the Exclusive Dating stage you are still learning the person and what’s best for you.

So for those of you out there wanting to date and be successful at it, I suggest you consider adopting these 3 Levels of Courtship.

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DeNita Quinn

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