Relationships

The Ugly Truth: 5 Signs You Are Dealing with a F**kBoi| Alexia Platenburg

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LLLAAADDDIIIEEESSS!

It’s time to be honest about the men in our lives.

We are TOO OLD, TOO FINE, AND TOO WORTHY to be slithering around with the wrong “men”. 

I know we’ve all been there. The part of your mine you ignore when the “fuckboi alarm” goes off but you think you are thinking too much into it.

Let’ all say it together, “you are NOT over-thinking anything.”

The reality is the “#WasterHerTime2016” campaign was only as successful as you allowed it to be. 

It is now 2017 and we are smarter, wiser, and honestly over the “fuckboi mentality”. 

Similar to the revolutionary women depicted in Chi-Raq, it is time to withhold what men want most…….

 

The reality is, in allowing “fuckboi behavior” we have subconsciously accepted and normalized the new standard. 

Hitting your line after the club but never before.

Calling you bae behind closed doors but pretending you’re his homegirl in public.

All signs you are allowing a “fuckboi” in your life. 

In case no one has told you, you are BEAUTIFULYou are VALUEDYou are WORTHY of a man who actually wants to be in your life for more than his own personal gain. 

So just in case you still are on the fence and think you caught a good one, ask yourself if you deal with any of the major signs below. 

5 Signs You Are Dealing with a FuckBoi

1. You Only Speak At His Convenience:  You know the type. You hear from them only when they want something. Usually after 10 p.m. and never on a consistent basis.

Ugly Truth: You think you are dating, but you aren’t. You are sleeping with a man whose only interest is …..SEX. 

Major Key: Know the role they want you to play. If you are not interested in being a fuck buddy, then let him move on to someone else. But don’t force a starring role out of extra casting. There are too many men to choose from and you have too much to offer to start from the bottom. 


2. You Are Sleeping with A Boy Who Knows Nothing About You: Now you may do more than just sleep together, but are you sleeping with a man that doesn’t know you. Attending events and movie dates doesn’t mean he knows you. You may often find yourself asking all the inquisitive questions while he lacks reciprocity. 

Ugly Truth: Although he is interested in more than sex, his interest are in what you can offer him. Most often its companionship at his convenience in which he is not providing the same energy. 

Major Key: Notice these signs early. Some men aren’t talkers but if you find that the communication is always one sided, chances are he isn’t asking you anything because he doesn’t care. A man who is interested in you will ask about your life, family, friends, goals, and more. 

3. You Are Playing House Without a Title: I personally believe in test driving a car before you drive it but never on a cross country roadtrip. The reality is if you are playing house with someone out of convenience or hopes it will grow into something more, but that drags on, and on, and on….let it go. Or readjust.

Ugly Truth: When a man wants something, he will make it known and take it. Be weary of giving too much of yourself to a man who is only there to take what they can before they go on to someone else. (Example, you date for five years, breakup and he is engaged within the next year.) 
 

Major Key: Always keep open communication about what your expectations are and the desired direction of your involvement. He can’t aspire to be what you desire if he doesn’t know, but also if he just doesn’t care to do it period. 

4. He Is Dating Other People, But You Can’t: This is my favorite. You have to put all of your eggs in one basket while he builds multiple baskets on reserve. This type of arrangement can only last so long and it never produces the outcomes you want. 

Ugly Truth: This is a temporary arrangement. Not because he is dating other people, but because you aren’t. This lets you know he is not interested in building with you but simply building up his ego and possessive nature. 

 

Major Key: Unless you love sitting at a table with multiple women, let this be what is is and move on. You are worthy so much more and settling for anything less is a sacrifice that won’t pay out. 

5.  He Lacks Ambition and Direction: Not just professionally, but spiritually, mentally, and personally. But before you think Lawrence from Insecure, that’s not what I mean. This special type of fuckboi is content in not growing into the best man he can be, yet is willing to sell dreams to you about what he hopes his future will be without the action to work to it. 

Ugly Truth: This is not the relationship you think it is. If you are dealing with a man like this be careful with the role you cast him in. This is not someone you can build a future with unless you are equally lost and uninterested in figuring things out. 

Major Key: Ladies, it is not our job to grow boys into men. We are taught that a real woman is to support, empower, and encourage through any circumstances. Although that is true, don’t confuse supporting your man with supporting a boy. A woman was created to complete a man, not to raise a boy. Be observant and always communicate, because you can’t move forward if the wrong things are holding you down. 

P.S. Beware of the…”I know I am going to be a great man one day.” #CallMeOnThatDay

So the next time a fuckboi walks into your life…..you know where to send him. 

 XoXo, 

25 N’ Learning

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DeNita Quinn

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